“The Unity of the Spirit in the Bond of Peace” (Ephesians 4)

Paul exhorts the Ephesians (and us) to,

…walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4)

Where in this scripture can we find validity for the divided and corrupted version of Christianity which exists today? What is put forth as “church”, today, has nothing to do with the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace that Paul speaks of, but is merely a mixture of Gnostic and ancient pagan ritualism and worship.

I believe Paul’s message of UNITY, of ONENESS in Christ, here, goes far beyond the “not forsaking the gathering together” sermons of the nominal “church”. I believe Paul is speaking of a unity that, perhaps, most of us have never experienced in the tradition-of-man laden religiosity that surrounds us: “Christian fellowship”, “church services”, “conferences”, “revivals”, and “bible studies”. I believe firmly that Paul is exhorting us, here, to a unity which will only occur when every individual in the lord’s gathering (ecclesia), every member of the Body, comes to know, experience and rest personally in the presence of the indwelling Christ and Spirit: a unity which has solely to do with a Spiritual and heavenly vision, a True knowledge of the Lord Who abides in all of us who belong to Him:

For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. 4 For just as we have many members in ONE BODY and ALL the MEMBERS do not have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are ONE BODY IN CHRIST, and INDIVIDUALLY MEMBERS ONE OF ANOTHER. 6 Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; 7 if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; 8 or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 BE DEVOTED TO ONE ANOTHER IN BROTHERLY LOVE; give preference to one another in honor; 11 not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. (Romans 12)

T. Austin Sparks says of Ephesians 4,

Now Ephesians four is the great New Testament exposition of Psalm one hundred and thirty-three: “There is one body….” Read the passage without the italicized words: “…Giving diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace… one body, and one Spirit… one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, Who is over all, and through all, and in all” (verses 3-6). Oneness in Christ as a body fitly framed together is what is portrayed. How is this perfect unity reached? By all that is individual and personal being left, by the Lord being the focal centre, and by our giving diligence to maintain the unity in that way; keeping all personal things out, and keeping Christ and His interests always in view: “…till we all attain unto the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a full-grown man….” (verse 13). Dwelling together in unity in that way, is the result of His being the sole and central object of all our concerns. (emphasis mine)

(The Stewardship of the Mystery – Volume 1: Chapter 8)

The Lord’s true Church will never be found in an elaborate building with a steeple, nor will it be found in a pagan city in Southern Italy. The Lord’s true Church consists of individual men and women who have given up all they have in this temporal life to gain the Lord Himself: “By all that is individual and personal being left, by the Lord being the focal centre, and by our giving diligence to maintain the unity in that way; keeping all personal things out, and keeping Christ and His interests always in view: ‘…till we all attain unto the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a full-grown man….’”

For almost eighteen hundred years, believers and seekers of our Lord’s Way, Truth, and Life in abundance, have allowed themselves to be divided and cheated out of their Spiritual inheritance, as Christ’s brethren and heirs, by the manipulations of a pagan-oriented “religious” system: Christendom.

Can any of us who know, love, and seek, the Lord truly believe that the Christ divides Himself up and blesses each of hundreds of denominational and non-denominational doctrines, which all contradict, or even deny, each other? Can we truly believe, and continue to take part in, a “religious” system which makes a mockery of Paul’s statement that there is One God, One Christ, One Body, One Church, One Baptism, One Life in Christ? How can we take part in a “religious” system which stands in stark contrast to the very book (the Word of God) it claims to uphold as absolute truth?

How long will those of us, who sense the error and deadness in our denominations and non-denominations (mere religiosity), continue to take part in something the Lord withdrew from almost eighteen hundred years ago? For those of us who long to sense the power and presence of the Lord’s life in us, as well as others around us, how long are we going to remain in what we know is nothing more than apostate Spiritual deadness, scriptural ignorance, and pagan idolatry? How much longer are we going to abide with the “religious”/political entity (with a steeple), which has nothing whatsoever in common with the One Who purchased His true Church on the cross? How much longer will it be before we finally walk away from the worldly loving clergy and willing laity who hypocritically “praise God” every Sunday morning and then go about living their worldly (carnal) lives the rest of the week? How long will it take before we finally come to listen to and obey the leading of the Spirit, which is exhorting and commanding us to, “Come out from among them!”

Lastly, we should look around us at the state of this decaying and dying world system of Satan, and then consider how much longer it will be before the Lord returns and finds us asleep in our pews:

“Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 “Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. 3 “For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4 but the prudent took oil in flasks along with their lamps. 5 “Now while the bridegroom was delaying, they all got drowsy and began to sleep. 6 “But at midnight there was a shout, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ 7 “Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 “The foolish said to the prudent, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 “But the prudent answered, ‘No, there will not be enough for us and you too; go instead to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.’ 10 “And while they were going away to make the purchase, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut. 11 “Later the other virgins also came, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open up for us.’ 12 “But he answered, ‘Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’ 13 “Be on the alert then, for you do not know the day nor the hour. (Matthew 25)

“God has Chosen the Foolish Things of this World to Shame the Wise…”

Do any of you ever have a sense of aloneness, even when you’re surrounded by those you attend “church” with? Do you ever sense that you see things, in almost every way, differently than the other believers around you: cognitively, emotionally, experientially and scripturally? You are there in that building (“church”) with them, but doesn’t there always seem to be a sense of aloneness, a sense of something missing, which is ever present in you? Do you sense that the something missing is the presence and power of God visibly working in you and those around you? Do you ever cry out to Father, “Why, Lord, with everything so blatantly messed up in this world, are these people I ‘fellowship’ with (for one hour every Sunday morning) so blind, unaware and/or uncaring? Am I losing my mind, or do I truly have the mind of Christ, and if so, then am I beginning to see the world and others with Your vision, discernment and heart? Is this the reason I am experiencing this sense of aloneness and disconnection with the world and those I attend ‘church’ with?”

If none of this registers with you, then I guess you’re either far ahead of me, spiritually speaking, or not looking for the same Spiritual thing I am. For the last ten+years of my life, I have been experiencing this life of aloneness, uncertainty and questioning, and Father’s answers to my questions and pleading haven’t always immediately been there to bring relief and peace. This has been more than difficult to say the least. I have not walked this path completely alone, and the brothers I have walked with have had almost the same experience. But we have had to break off from each other at points and seek these answers on our own: alone with Father in much pain, fear and trembling.

The other day, a brother was telling me that he had just reread 1st Corinthians 1, and that he had been moved and edified by the Lord’s word through Paul. So I picked up my bible and began to read. As I read, I sensed the Lord revealing to me some things that I had truly lost sight of over the past few years. Here is a portion of 1st Corinthians I. Please read this passage before you read what I have written at the end:

10Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment. 11For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe’s people, that there are quarrels among you. 12Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, “I am of Paul,” and “I of Apollos,” and “I of Cephas,” and “I of Christ.” 13Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? 14I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15so that no one would say you were baptized in my name… 17For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, so that the cross of Christ would not be made void.

18For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

19For it is written,
“I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE,
AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE.”

20Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. 22For indeed Jews ask for signs and Greeks search for wisdom; 23but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness, 24but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

26For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; 27but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, 28and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, 29so that no man may boast before God. 30But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, 31so that, just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.” (1st Corinthians I)

Here are the points in this scripture that have reinforced my decision, many years ago, to come out from organized Christianity; and to know that God has truly chosen the weak, foolish and based things of this world to shame the wise.

1) “Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be NO DIVISIONS among you, but that you be made complete in the SAME MIND and in the SAME JUDGMENT… Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?”

Do I really need to explain to any child of God why this scripture resounds so clearly in my mind and heart? We are not to be divided (factions), it is as simple as that: no divisions, no denominations or non-denominations, or as Paul states:

“Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3BEING DILIGENT to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4There is ONE body and ONE Spirit, just as also you were called in ONE hope of your calling; 5ONE Lord, ONE faith, ONE baptism, 6ONE God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.” (Ephesians 4)

We are to be ONE in Christ, not three thousand separate and opposed factions that are at war with each other over who Christ is and what our response to Him is to be! The true Church, the Body of Christ, is ONE with Christ: there is no Catholic, Presbyterian, Methodist, Unitarian, or whatever, in the Body of Christ. There is Oneness and unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace in the true Body, the true Church of Christ. I never found this Oneness in Christ in organized Christianity, and I sought it out diligently. If we are taking part in this kind of religious disunity, this division, this factionalism, then we are separating ourselves, whether we are aware or not, from the Life and Truth the Lord came to give us. Organized Christianity cannot possibly be according to the Lord’s will, for if it is, then His word to us is very unreliable.

2) “For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.19For it is written,
“I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE,
AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE.
20Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God MADE FOOLISH the wisdom of the world?”

The man-created “churches” of organized Christianity (denominations: religious institutions, just like synagogues, mosques and temples) have been putting forth, for almost two thousand years now, a completely false picture of Christ and His Body (His Church). In particular, the American version of Christianity acts, for the most part, as just another leg of the American government; a corrupt and almost Satanic government that wouldn’t know our Lord and Savior from a serpent. This kind of “church”, this man-made religious institution, puts forth the false notion that God works through those who have never sinned badly and always “tithe”, those who are admired in the community and love America, democracy and capitalism more than anything else; since God has (according to the clergy) ordained America to be that “city upon a hill.”

A religious institution that preaches love of the world system: “God wants you to be rich! He wants you to be successful! Your success is a witness to the pagan that you are of God!” American-organized-Christianity supports and promotes political activism: demanding “political rights” for its laity and openly promoting civil disobedience. The American “church” promotes patriotism (idolatry) and even encourages young American men to go to war and murder others made by God. Of course, all of this is directly opposed to scripture. In fact, scripture, over and over again, warns us not to be yoked with the unbeliever and that we will, if we truly belong to Christ, suffer as he did. Scripture paints a picture of the true believer as an outsider in this world: a child of God who is hated by this world-system (ruled by Satan), a person who despises the things of this world-system and thus has nothing in it. A child of God who is longing for a “better country,” his true home with the Lord:

18“If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. 19“If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you. (John 15)

14Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

16Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said,
“I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM;
AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE.

17“Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE,” says the Lord.
“AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN;
And I will welcome you.

18“And I will be a father to you,
And you shall be sons and daughters to Me,”
Says the Lord Almighty. (2 Corinthians 6)

…13All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. 14For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. 15And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them. (Hebrews 11)

This is the true picture of Christ and His Body (His Church, His Bride)! This is not the truth that one will find in the “churches” of Christendom (organized Christianity). So if one wants the way, truth and life the Lord came and died to give them, then, I believe, they must come to a hard decision at some point in their life; and this hard decision just may be, as the Spirit leads, of course, to come out from among them and seek what the Lord has for them here and now. But they should know up front that this life will not be the cozy, ungodly life “preached” in the false temples of Christendom. Oh no, this will be a life of true separation, in the mind and heart, from all the ungodly things of this world, a life filled with sojourning and pain, but with the peace that surpasses comprehension. The person who hears the Lord’s call and responds will immediately become the weak, foolish, based and despised thing in this world, because Satan rules this world-system and hates the true child of God! Christ was not kidding us when he stated:

24Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. 25“For whoever wishes to save his life WILL LOSE IT; but whoever loses his life for My sake WILL FIND IT. 26“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 27“For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS. (Matthew 16)

PS

A brother in Christ just sent me the following quote from T. Austin Sparks. Sparks has said in two paragraphs what I was trying say above:

“…It pleased God… to reveal His Son in me, that I might preach Him.” (Galatians 1:15,16)

Since Paul’s day so very much of Christian activity has been the furthering of a movement, the propagating of a teaching, and the furthering of the interests of an institution. It is not a movement, nor to establish a movement in the Earth and to get followers, adherents, members, support. It is not an institution, even though we might call that institution the church. The church has no existence in the thought of God apart from the revelation of Jesus Christ, and it is judged according to the measure in which Christ the Son of God’s love is in evidence by its existence. It is not a testimony, if by that you mean a specific form of teaching, a systematized doctrine. No, it is not a testimony. Let us be careful what we mean when we speak about “the testimony.” We may have in our minds some arrangement of truth, and that truth couched in certain phraseology, form of words, and thus speak about “the testimony”; it is not the testimony in that sense. It is not a denomination, and it is not a “non-denomination,” and it is not an “inter-denomination.” It is not Christianity. It is not “the work” – oh, we are always talking about “the work”: “How is the work getting on?” – we are giving ourselves to the work, we are interested in the work, we are out in the work. It is not a mission. It is Christ! “…That I might preach Him.”

If that had remained central and preeminent all these horrible disintegrating jealousies would never have had a chance. All the wretched mess that exists in the organization of Christianity today WOULD NEVER HAVE COME ABOUT. It is because something specific in itself, a movement, a mission, a teaching, a testimony, a fellowship, has taken the place of Christ. People have gone out to further that, to project that, to establish that. It would not be confessed; nevertheless it is true, that today it is not so much Christ that is our work. Now beloved, an inward revelation is the cure of all that. Am I saying too hard a thing, too sweeping a thing? The existence of all that represents the absence of an adequate inward revelation of Christ

Hearing God's Voice: The Spirit

Jesus, said to His disciples,

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you…” (John 14:26)

Paul, told the Roman believers,

“As many as are led by the spirit of God are the sons of God.” (Romans 8: 14)

Here is an article from Beyond Church Walls, which speaks of being led by the Spirit, or hearing God’s voice.

But I also know many who are growing in a relationship with Father as they learn to hear his voice and trust him to guide them by his Spirit. They yield to the work of the Spirit in their lives as Christ is being formed within them. These people would never consider substituting another’s understanding for the truth that can only be realized through an experiential relationship with Christ. Nor could they ever trust their own intellect to comprehend mysteries that can only be spiritually discerned. And they’ve seen that those who lean on the Bible as their “road map” have all gone down a thousand different trails and built entire doctrines on mistranslation of original scripture. They’ve learned by sometimes painful experience that “the letter kills, while the Spirit gives life” and that the Spirit is faithful to interpret the scriptures in keeping with the character and nature of God. They place great value on the Bible, appreciate godly brothers and sisters and are not afraid to use the mind God gave them. But their trust is placed only in the One the scriptures point to.

We must seek to hear and discern what the Spirit of God is saying to us. No other person can do this for us!

You can read the whole article here:

via Beyond Church Walls » In God We Trust?.

Real Fellowship

Below is a quote from an excellent article on Beyond Church Walls. Much of true fellowship and life in God seems to have been lost in traditional Christianity.

The Paradox

Consider the following two events:

Matthew 21:1-7

1 And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples,

2 Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me…

6 And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them,

7 And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon.

And:

Matthew 26:36-40

36 Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.

37 And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.

38 Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.

39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

40 And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?

Consider these two events carefully. When it came to ministering to Jesus’ physical needs, His disciples were right there. But when it came to helping Him with His spiritual needs, they fell asleep.

I have some precious brothers who love to help people. They will bring food, give money, and work hard for their brothers, but when it comes to helping their brothers with the spiritual work for which they’ve been called, they are nowhere to be found.

Life and fellowship, in God’s Son, isn’t just for an hour on Sunday morning or on Wednesday night! It’s a twenty-four/seven/365 experience, since that is what God, according to His word, intended. This true fellowship in the Body of Christ, like all else, can only be accomplished through the leading of the Spirit.

You can read the rest of the article here:

via Real Christianity Part 2.

"A Kingdom Which Cannot Be Shaken"

Below is a wonderful article about God, us and the time we live in. I wanted to share it with everyone! The site is listed at the end of this post.

1) For Such a Time

As I sit here with my laptop answering emails that have piled up during a week in Florida, I’m thinking that the outcome of today’s presidential election could be a more decisive day for this country than was 9/11. Things may soon come to a head both politically and economically. Every world system will eventually feel the impact of decisions that will be made beginning today. Political and financial turmoil may subside for a season, but future days will present challenges of a degree we have not yet known.

Yet I believe God’s primary focus is on his people. He’s beginning to shake all that can be shaken so that only what cannot be shaken will remain. He’s shaking the foundations of everything in our lives that is not rooted and grounded in love. He’s shaking our confidence in all but him. He’s shaking us loose from all we depend on apart from his love and goodness. He’s purifying a people who will refuse to bind themselves to any earthly system, religious or otherwise, but who will cling only to him who is all in all.

History will be made today. But, as has been said before, history is really His story. History that ultimately makes the difference is authored by the Father from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name. It is subjected to Christ under whose feet God has placed ALL THINGS and has appointed him to be head over EVERYTHING for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills EVERYTHING in EVERY way.

This continues to be a time to pray according to his will. It’s a time to call upon him for mercy, to hold back the forces of evil that are impatient to be released without restraint.Yet, even more importantly, it’s a time to yield to his love, his work in us and to offer ourselves to him for his purposes accomplished through us for such a time as this.

David F

“And His voice shook the earth then, but now He has promised, saying, “YET ONCE MORE I WILL SHAKE NOT ONLY THE EARTH, BUT ALSO THE HEAVEN.” This expression, “Yet once more,” denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire”. (Hebrews 12: 26-29) (emphasis mine)

1) Beyond Church Walls » For Such a Time.

"God is Love"

The apostle, John, said before verse ten,

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. (1 John 4: 7-9)

All that we have is from God: faith, hope, life, salvation, justification and love (agape, or unconditional love). God, gave us these gifts for our good and the good of those around us. As with Jesus, we should consider how to love others more than seek to be loved ourselves, or, as John stated,

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4: 11)

“Closer than a Brother”

“Don’t worry, friend, I have your back!”

“A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)

“No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (John 15: 15)

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

“A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17: 17)

God has blessed me, richly, with a few friends who are closer than brothers. I am most grateful for all of them!

“To Live is Christ…” #3

Here’s the third installment of my testimony.

At the end of the evening, I met several of Sarah’s friends, and they invited me to their “home church” that week. I agreed to come, even though I had never heard of a “home church.“ Xenos, is one of many fellowships that believe true, Christian relationships can only be formed in an informal, intimate setting like a home. This is known as a “Home Church” model. The structure is set up like this: there is a central meeting place, which I had just attended, where all of the fellowship can gather together, and then there are smaller gatherings, which occur in the homes of the fellowship members. Xenos, at this time, had three-thousand people in fellowship, with thirty or more home churches. So that week I attended Sarah’s home church. I met Sarah, and we drove to the house. The meeting was in the basement, and, as I started down the steps, I noticed that the basement was packed with probably sixty high-school kids and adults. Everyone was milling around and talking. Sarah, began to introduce me to these people. I felt a little uneasy, but not nearly as much as I had the preceding Sunday. The routine was much the same as it had been at central teaching. After we were there for a while, a man, my age, stood up and said, “let’s get started.” This was Danny, who would become, over the next weeks, someone very important in my life. Then we prayed, and Danny began to teach. I was amazed with all of these young people. We were all squeezed into this little basement, and as Danny began to share his thoughts, on a chapter in the bible, everyone was completely silent and focused. Again, I began to hear God speak to me. At the end of Danny’s teaching, he asked for questions and comments from us. One by one, these kids began to ask questions. The questions they asked amazed me. I could tell that they weren’t just asking for the purpose of getting attention. On the contrary, they were quite simply and eagerly seeking the truth. I had some questions myself, so I raised my hand and Danny called on me, and said, “I don’t believe I know you, so please tell us who you are, before you ask your question.” I told them my name, and that I was a friend of Sarah. I don’t remember the question I asked that night, but what I do remember is Danny’s desire to give me an answer.

At the end of the night, I was invited to go to the local McDonalds, drink coffee and continue our discussion. I was with five or six teenagers, and they were sharing their lives with me, as well as answering many of my own questions. One thing I learned that night was a person doesn’t have to be fifty years old, with a theology degree, to receive and transmit God’s truth. I was blown away by the maturity these young people exhibited while sharing their experiences with God. From this night on, instead of dreading these meetings, I would look forward to them all week.

Several weeks passed, and I had continued to attend the home church and central teachings. Over those weeks, I continued to be changed in my mind and heart, and my self-hatred and longing to die began to dissipate. I felt as if the world had been lifted off of my back, and I could breathe and live again. One night, because of work, I had arrived at home church a little bit late. So I crept down the stairs and found a place to sit. Another person was teaching that night. Joe, was a great guy and a good teacher, but in my mind, he was no Danny. At the end of the teaching, I raised my hand, and he called on me. I began to ask my question when, all of a sudden, Danny blurted out, “You’re here!” All of the kids started laughing, and Danny looked a little bit embarrassed. I completed my question, and Joe gave me an answer. The night ended, and I went up to Danny and we started talking. Danny’s surprised response, to finding out I was there, might seem small to some, but to me it meant everything. I had only met Danny just a few weeks before, and yet he was concerned that I might not be there that evening. This event helped anchor me to these people and God. I respected and loved Danny, and his influence on me was huge. Danny, would become a close friend, as well as my mentor. There were many of the younger people I became close with also. I don’t see many of them anymore, but they still burn in my mind and heart!

Over the past twenty-two years, since that night, I have had people say to me, “You have no proof that your God exists.” They’re right! I have no “empirical” evidence to prove that God exists, nor is that my reason for being. My evidence of God is in the unseen realm (as well as the seen), the realm that sets humanity apart from the animals and plants. My faith in God lives in the evidence of things that I have needed and hoped for, over the years. By “things,” I don’t mean cars, boats, houses and money. The “things” that I speak of are answered prayers for health and deliverance for myself and others, as well as the knowledge of God and all that entails. This, by any stretch of the imagination, is not empirical, scientific evidence. God’s manifestation is His responsibility, not mine (Romans 1: 19-21). Even if I sensed it was my responsibility, I couldn’t get it done, because I’m not God. “A man needs to know his own limitations,” a human adage that has some truth to it.

“To Live is Christ…” #2

This is the second installment of my testimony:

During the next twenty-four hours, I was anything but relaxed and happy about what was coming Sunday night. I even considered calling Sarah and canceling, but I knew she would ask me again. So Sunday night came, and I went with Sarah to her fellowship, which was called, “Xenos.” When we arrived, I was looking for the steeple and stained glass, but there was none to be found. The building, where they met, was a converted warehouse. As I entered, I noted immediately that there was no altar, crucifix or pews. People were sitting on stackable chairs with bibles, notepads and coffee. On the little stage up front, was a band playing Bluegrass music. In the corner was a snack-bar: selling coffee, cokes, chips, candy and donuts. No one was dressed in suits or skirts. Instead, most people were wearing bluejeans and flannel shirts, some were even wearing shorts.

Sarah, led me to a group of people and introduced me. I was still very nervous and felt out of place, but I returned their greetings and sat down. Most of these people were my age or younger, and they immediately began to talk with me. They didn’t preach at me, they just talked to me like normal human beings. At this point, I was still unsure about being there, but I couldn’t help admitting that this was different than any other church I had ever attended. In looking back, I believe this informal setting really helped me to calm my anxiety about being there.

After we had been there for a short while, the lights were dimmed and this man gets up and walks on to the stage. He went to the lectern and said, “Hello, Everyone. Let’s get started.” I would come to learn that this was Gary, one of the two main elders. He was short, with semi-long hair, and he was wearing bluejeans and a flannel shirt. He then said, “Let’s pray. Would anyone like to start?” I couldn’t believe it, the minister, at the beginning of a service, exhorting the congregation to pray. Off in the distance came a voice praying, and after a few more people had prayed, then Gary finished up with a prayer. What almost everyone had prayed was for God to make known, to all of us there, His truth through the word.

For the next hour or so, I heard God speak to me. I didn‘t hear an audible voice, what I heard was inside of my mind and heart. I can only try to describe what can’t be described in human terms. I felt God lance the boil, that was my heart, and gently begin to soothe the wound He had opened. I felt God’s words, through Gary, begin to convict me and then caress me, as if to say, “It’s alright David; I know what you’ve done, and how you are laid low with guilt, shame and pain, but I forgive you and accept you. David, the days of self-loathing, blood-guilt, fear, bitterness and anger are coming to an end. Through My Son, I have taken them away! You are free. I love you, David.” In 1st Corinthians 15, it says, “We shall all be changed, in the twinkling of an eye…” If this event is going to happen again, at some point in the future, I do not know, but I do know that it already happened to me on this very night. In one, short hour, my whole existence had been altered, once and for all time.

I have never, since this time, experienced anything like that first taste of God. All I had ever heard from Catholic priests and Protestant ministers was sin, works, hell, fire and damnation; but God had begun to shine His light on those lies, and His work continues in me until this day. What the ministers, priests and preachers couldn’t accomplish, in thirty-six years, God had accomplished in one, small hour. And the messengers God had used were a man in bluejeans and a seventeen year-old girl.

"To Live is Christ…" #1

This is the first installment of my testimony. God, was gracious and loving to reach out to such a wretched man as myself, and I-now-want to share my love and gratitude for God and His Son with others!

I had met Sarah while working at a local music store, in the Fall of 1985. She was working with the younger kids who were hired to clean rental instruments. Sarah, had just turned seventeen when she started working there. She was-outwardly-a beautiful, young lady, and she was just as beautiful in her mind and heart. Sarah, was the kind of person who could walk into a room and light it up with her smile and personality. People were drawn to her light, as was I. Some nights, Sarah would work later in the evening, so, quite often, it was just her and myself in the repair and clean-up shop. We would talk as we worked, and Sarah would share much about her daily happenings with me. Quite often, she would talk about her church and the people she loved there. Every once in a while, she would turn the subject to me and how God loved me also. These conversations always made me uncomfortable, because I still was opposed to God and hated the church. When she would bring up God and me, I would try to convince her that I was beyond redemption, I was too far gone. Almost always, she would end the conversation by saying, “No matter what you have done wrong, God still loves you, and so do I.”

Until Sarah appeared in my life, I was always looking for an opportunity to tear down any Christian trying to save me. Most of my energy, then, was spent blaming God and religion for my broken life. This was easier, of course, than blaming the real culprit, who just happened to be me. I was in denial about the cause of my troubles, and I hated myself so much that I didn’t want to hear about God’s forgiveness and love for me. What I desired, more than love and forgiveness, was the courage to end my life. My desire for self destruction was a constant companion, in those dark days. I was brutal with people who reached out to me, I didn‘t want or need their “fairy-tale“ advice. I despised Christians and considered them nothing more than blind fools. But there was confusion in me now, because of Sarah. I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out how She could escape the wrath that normally dwelt in me.

The music store had a little bulletin board hanging over the work bench, and the kids would leave messages on it for management and co-workers. One night, as I was working by myself, I paused for a moment and looked up, and there, on the board, was a verse that Sarah had left for anyone to read. The verse, as I would come to learn, was in Philippians, and it stated, “To live is Christ, to die is gain…” I remember sitting there and staring at these words for a long time. I was thinking, “What does that mean?” As I continued to work, the words kept nagging at me. I thought, “How can death be considered a gain, and ‘To live is Christ…’ doesn’t even make sense?” Over the following weeks, I would continue to see that verse and ponder. Little did I know that, in the coming weeks and months ahead, I would begin to understand this verse, and it would change me forever.

Sarah, and I continued to work together, and she continued to speak of God’s love for me. One Saturday, almost a year later, I went to lunch with her and a friend. On the way back to work, Sarah, out of nowhere, said to her friend, “Dave’s going to go to central teaching (church) with us, Sunday night.” She turned to me and said, “Aren’t you?” To this day I can remember sitting in that back seat thinking, “I’m not going anywhere Sunday night.” But that wasn’t what came out of my mouth. Instead, my response was, “I guess I could go on Sunday.” I still can‘t fully explain my answer that day, except to say that I was filled with so much misery and torment that my heart evidently overrode my confused mind…